Never Mind The Ball-ocks: Here’s The Sports Review

nevermindtheballocksDo you like sports? Do you like awful humour and ill-informed opinions? If you answered yes to some or all of these questions, then you’re in the right place my friend. Last week was the first edition of ‘Never Mind The Ball-ocks’ and I rather enjoyed writing it so I’ve returned for a second week to discuss the big stories from the week’s sporting action.

This week, I focus on the Premier League, transfer window annoyances, Conor McGregor’s injury worry, Mayo’s victory over Tyrone and a look ahead to Dublin V Kerry.


 Week 2 of the Premier League season and to be quite honest, it was a pretty non eventful weekend of “action”. Unless of course, you are a Cardiff City fan. It’s easy to get carried away after only two games and I am not one for making rash decisions but I can confidently say that Man City will be relegated and Cardiff will win the league. Okay, maybe not, but why not get carried away? Even the Cardiff owner was getting carried away, walking around with a replica jersey over his expensive suit for some bizarre reason.

Absolutely glorious scenes as Cardiff fired three goals past Joe Hart who doesn’t seem to be head and shoulders (get it?) above everyone at the moment. A jubilant crowd stayed on to salute their heroes on one of those rare days when a supposed small fish beats up a big shark with a big stick. 

Around the rest of the league, Arsenal’s extremely strong squad beat Fulham 3-1, title challengers Liverpool beat Aston Villa, Newcastle bored everyone to death in a 0-0 draw against West Ham, Norwich ruined an accumulator by losing to Hull City, Man United and Chelsea played one of the worst games in history, Tottenham’s Roberto Soldado scored another penalty to beat Swansea 1-0, Ian Holloway blamed everyone but himself after his Crystal Palace side lost 2-1 to Stoke despite going up 1-0, Sunderland and Southampton drew 1-1 and Everton were involved in 0-0 draw with West Brom.

Speaking of West Brom, best wishes to Nicolas Anelka at the moment having learned that his agent and friend passed away last week.

At the time of writing there are five days remaining in the transfer window. To be honest, I’m glad. I cannot stand the transfer window and all the speculation and non news stories that people/journalists latch on to and make it sensationalist. Here’s looking at you Sky Sports. The sooner this farce ends the better. I’m sick of hearing about Gareth Bale, Wayne Rooney and whoever else is angling for a move. Do what normal people do lads, and put in your notice, or in this case a transfer request. It’s more respectful and things would move a lot quicker instead of the tedious updates of players seen in such and such a place. As soon as this window is closed, I’m going to board it up for good.

MMA (Mixed Martial Arts): 

I mentioned last week that Irish UFC fighter Conor McGregor beat Max Holloway and, unfortunately, it turns out that Conor has suffered a set back. It was announced that Conor suffered cruciate ligament damage and will be sidelined for up to 10 months. A huge blow for the fighter who really became an over night sensation. Hopefully a speedy recovery ensues for McGregor.

In other Irish MMA news, Cathal Pendred is said to be trying out for ‘The Ultimate Fighter’. The Ultimate Fighter or ‘TUF’ is the UFC’s reality TV show to find the next big MMA star. Dubliner Pendred is set to try out and hopefully emulate the success of Conor McGregor and showcase more of Ireland’s talented fighters. The show starts back next week and as far as I know, is available to watch on BT Sport.


The first of the All Ireland semi finals took place last Sunday with Mayo taking on Tyrone. Tyrone started brightly and Mayo looked quite lethargic in their play. That was until the second half when Mayo really took the game to Tyrone. It was like chatting up a girl, thinking you’re well in there only to be told to “F**k off”. And that’s exactly what Mayo did. They told Tyrone to “F**k off” and went on to beat them 1-16 to 0-13 in a remarkable second half display.

Mayo await the winners of Sunday’s other semi final clash between Dublin and Kerry.

Hang sangiches, flasks and tea bags have been flying off the shelves in Kerry as they embark on our nations capital to shout at their team with incoherent accents, much like loyal Dublin fans.

A sea of people, a cacophony of noise awaits and a sense of optimism as All Ireland glory races through the minds of both teams involved. A feast of action and excitement is all but guaranteed and I’ll probably end up watching Liverpool V Manchester United instead.

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