You may remember a while ago I took on the challenge to complete the fiendish Hell & Back Run. Despite having the fitness level of Stephen Hawking’s less energetic brother, I managed to struggle through and complete the course. I wish I could say that it was a turning point in my life and that it inspired me to become a fitness god, but sadly it did not.
The lovely (but sadistic) people at Hell & Back have invited me to take part in their upcoming race in June and I am determined that this will be a different affair. While I managed to succeed in finishing the last gruelling course without any training, I am determined that this time I will try to be prepared. Not the easiest of feats considering it’s easier to find a toddler in Portugal after a Tapas than it is for me to find the motivation to go for a run.
I have enlisted the help of Mark Hamilton from Core-Fit Conditioning to give me an intensive personal training course and given him the impossible task of taking me from fat to fit in the space of a couple of months.
The first thing that Mark asked me to do was to make a food diary and it read like a Johnny Vegas’ rider list. In 4 days I had drank 48 coffees, 7 bottles of wine, numerous cans and excessive amounts of pints. The food intake consisted of Quarter Pounders, Pringles and Breakfast Rolls. That’s a fucking eye-opener.
I want to apologise in advance for any “Before” pictures that crop up during these articles. Nobody (including myself) needs to see pictures of my current state, but for extra motivation for myself, they might have to make an appearance.
This will not be a run-of-the-mill “Oh Look At How Great I Am” fitness diaries that everyone posts on their Facebook walls. Nobody needs to see that shit. If anything, those kind of things demotivate people who find any kind of physical exercise a challenge. Seeing someone take to training like a duck to water makes the normal person feel about as redundant as a Dave McSavage “Best of” compilation. This will be an honest, “Fuck, This Is Torture” blow-by-blow account of how difficult and how many changes a normal Joe Soap needs to make to their lives in order to make a noticeable change to their bodies.
Each week, I will write an article detailing how the week has progressed with brutal honesty and charting my progress (or lack thereof) culminating with the Hell & Back run.
Fuck it. Let’s do this.