Jason Statham (Expendables 2) is a bit like this generation’s Steven Seagal; he’s not as big a name as some of the other action stars out there, but (generally speaking) when you see his name on a movie poster you know exactly what to expect.  Much like Seagal, he’s somewhat limited as an actor, but what he does offer is deadpan delivery of cheesy lines while dispatching bad guys – which he does very well.

In the case of Parker, Statham teams up with Jennifer Lopez (Anaconda – I think that’s actually her best movie credit), a sassy real estate agent who uses her own unique skill set to help him get revenge on some former partners who betrayed him and left him for dead.  I suppose you’re wondering what skills a real estate agent could offer a guy like Parker.  Well, having watched the film from start to finish I can say with plenty of assurance that the answer to this query is, “none whatsoever”.  Her character is of absolutely no use whatsoever (eye candy notwithstanding).

As an action movie, Parker is missing one essential ingredient – action.  There’s really not a whole lot of it in there.  There is a reasonably well put together heist scene at the start, one good hotel room fight sequence and a half decent final showdown, but that’s about it.  For a film that is two hours long (it feels longer) there really should be a lot more.  Virtually the entire second act involves dull real estate espionage with barely a punch thrown or a shot fired.  There are a few funny quips by Statham, but not enough to save the film from being a very dull affair.

Frankly, it’s a boring film.  It’s hard to believe that director Taylor Hackford was nominated for the ‘best achievement in directing’ award at the Oscars only eight years ago.  How the mighty have fallen…

4/10

Try this if you like:
- Max Payne (2008)
- sleeping in the cinema.

[Image: CutTheCap]