The 2013 Movie Awards (The Bad Stuff)

Since we’ve already revealed our favourite films of 2013, the staff at have decided that you, in the name of karma, need to suffer a bit.  As such, here are our worst films of 2013.

Worst Film: The Counselor

Like most years, 2013 saw some absolute dreck trying to pass itself off as film.  The indignity of the worst film of 2013 comes from an unlikely source; a Ridley Scott directed film that was written by Cormac McCarthy and starred Hollywood A-listers such as Michael Fassbender, Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz.  With so much talent involved it beggars belief that this piece of inane storytelling was the best they could come up with.  Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, The Counselor:

*Slow clap*

Dishonourable Mentions:

The Lone Ranger, Runner Runner, After Earth, R.I.P.D., Movie 43.

Worst Acting: Ben Affleck (Runner Runner)

Bad acting performances are every bit the universal constant that bad movies are.  2013 had no shortage of performances that left audiences scratching their heads and wondering, “Who pays these people?”.  While Runner Runner had more than its fair share of notably bad performances, one might have expected as much from the likes of Justin Timberlake and the non-entity that is Gemma Arterton, Ben Affleck has no excuse.  He has proven his acting pedigree in the past and just comes across as being a lazy git picking up a pay check.  Poor form altogether.

(Sorry about the still JT – that’s just how the trailer is formatted)

Dishonourable Mentions:

Cameron Diaz (The Counselor), Bruce Willis (A Good Day to Die Hard), Lindsay Lohan (The Canyons), Will Smith (After Earth), The entire voice cast of Walking With Dinosaurs 3D.

Biggest Disappointment: Walking With Dinosaurs 3D

When the initial trailer for Walking With Dinosaurs 3D hit the internet so very long ago dinosaur enthusiasts around the world rejoiced in the knowledge that the dinomentary phenomenon that started it all was returning with new evidence and discoveries to back it up.  All of this was going to be seen on massive cinema screens and in glorious 3D.  It was going to be dinosaur Mecca.
Then something horrible happened.  Someone decided to give the dinosaurs obnoxious voices and mind numbing dialogue.  It was like spending hours cooking a delicious Christmas dinner, only to spill excrement all over it.

Dishonourable Mentions:

Kick Ass 2, Man of Steel, A Good Day to Die Hard, Pacific Rim2 Guns.

Most Overrated Film: Gravity

‘Overrated’ is a term that is used far too often in terms of cinematic critique.  However, sometimes there simply isn’t a better word to sum up the hyperbole surrounding certain movies.  Gravity, while a good film, must rank among the most disproportionately praised films of recent years.  Yes, the special effects were superb and it created a great sense of the loneliness found in the vast expanses of space due to its stellar use of 3D effects, but strip away the visuals and you are left with a very ‘by the numbers’ story about overcoming adversity.  The day when Gravity’s special effects are bested will be the day it is forgotten by all and sundry.  And that day probably isn’t very far away.

Dishonourable Mentions:

The Great Gatsbythe Way Way Back, Only God Forgives, Iron Man 3, Blue is the Warmest Colour.

Best ‘Brain at the Door’: Thor – The Dark World

Not wanting to go out on a negative note, the final award that  dishes out for 2013 is the ‘best dumb fun’ award.  Not every film needs to be an Oscar contender.  More often than not the cinema audience just wants to go out, switch the brain off and have a good time without having to think too much about what they are watching.
Thor: The Dark World fits this bill perfectly.  The storyline is paper thin, many of the characters lack any real depth or substance and it has more than a couple of glaring plot holes.  Despite all of this, a fun blend of exciting action sequences and witty jokes made Thor’s latest big screen adventure easily one of the most enjoyable cinema experiences of the year.

Honourable Mentions:

Olympus Has Fallen, Riddick, World War Z, Machete Kills, Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues.


How did 2013 fare when compared to the previous years in terms of bad movies?  Have tings gotten worse or have they actually  improved?  Click here to read about the 13 films you should have avoided in 2012.

About The Author

Sean Markey

Lover of movies, dinosaurs, transforming robots and red hot chili peppers. Breaks things. Opinions mostly my own (unless under the influence of a parasitic wasp - if that is the case send help!). @soundmarkey

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